


onwards, together

by candyrabits



Series: your hand in mine [1]
Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, little bit of injury but its just from a needle !!, soft boys ilu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 17:49:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18348644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candyrabits/pseuds/candyrabits
Summary: Itsuki is special. Always has been, always will be. Making him a birthday gift shouldn't be too difficult, right?Wrong.In which Nazuna gets a little bit too sentimental over a calendar, and panics a little more over Itsuki.





	onwards, together

**Author's Note:**

> written for shnz positivity week on twitter by @/enst_posi_weeks
> 
> days 1 & 2: presents & animals
> 
> (also lowkey for shu's birthday, but we get there when we get there)

  
October 30th.

  
  
Nazuna stares at the date, unblinking, unmoving. His hand clutches the sewing needle tight, the little bit of cloth he'd been practising on now a mess of tangled strings and loose threads he'd somehow picked loose. The pile sits dejectedly in front of him, pathetic and practically _begging_ to be fixed. Nazuna stubbornly refuses to take another look at it. He continues glaring at the calendar, which very honestly holds another mess that he's starting to regret.  


The date's been highlighted, in neon pinks and blues and faded yellows- so many times that some of the ink's bled through the page and stained November a mottled bruise-like hue. There’s stickers everywhere, too, all of which remind him of a certain boy; dolls, clocks, teacups, stars, hearts, gears. Page ten, October, is a swirling, multi-colored tornado with Itsuki’s birthday in its eye.  


It's a waste of a pretty cute calendar, he thinks. The little rabbits chasing each other across the pages bear the same colors that remind him of his kids- light brown, dark brown, and a gray that almost looks blue under the light. It's a good calendar. It's served him well over the year. There's significant events marked out; outings with his kids planned, dates for lives blocked off, countdowns and reminders penned down for his own reference. A lot of love, a lot of memories, contained within the first nine pages.  


Then it comes to the page for October, and Nazuna's never wanted to throw the stupid thing out more. 

  
He's been anticipating October the 30th. Ever since they'd started Valkyrie together, he's marked out this particular date a _little_ bit too aggressively. Always, always, he’d taken extra care in marking out this particular birthday, even back in Valkyrie’s early days. Sure, he'd made extremely sure he had Kagehira's birthday highlighted with its own little decorations and colors and stickers around it, two pages later, but. October 30th is special.

 

(Itsuki _is special_ , his rabbit brain whispers. _No, he’s not, I’m just repaying all he’s done for me,_ he furiously whispers back.)

  
It doesn't matter that he's left Valkyrie behind. Before, when he'd just splintered off and he couldn't even look at them without feeling a physical _need_ to run away, he'd still pulled out his little pens and markers in the middle of the night and colored in the boxes for October 30th and December 26th, as he had done for the previous two years.

  
  
He's still not sure why he did. Nostalgia, maybe? Perhaps a longing for what could have been, had things played out differently. At the time he hadn't felt too happy about it, but now, at the end of the year, he's kind of glad he did. 

  
(He'd been circling the same date, over and over again, for the past few months since they'd started mending their relationship; just to make sure he doesn't forget, to make sure he starts the project he's been planning for _months_ now on time. 

  
His _oshi-san_ has given him so, so many gifts the entire time they've known each other, whether Nazuna appreciated them or not. Itsuki really had loved him, in his own way- enough to shower him with affection and stunningly beautiful handmade outfits on a regular basis. If he can’t make up for how selfish he had been, focusing on his own baggage without considering Itsuki’s genuine feelings in all of this, at the very least he should be able to give him a satisfactory gift for his birthday.) 

  
Then he glances back down at the utter monstrosity on his table, and he takes it all back. He doesn't want to do this anymore. His stiff fingers, covered in the animal-themed plasters he usually reserves for his kids, simply don't have the expertise to do what he wants them to do. Frustrated, Nazuna stabs the needle back into the strawberry-shaped pin cushion with more force than strictly necessary.

 

He sighs. Gets to his feet, before flopping over onto his bed and snuggling in. He’s still in the clear, there’s still about two weeks left, he tells himself. A YouTube tutorial or asking Kuro-chin about it in class would help him loads, he’s sure of it. Even if, from tomorrow onward, he’ll be sleeping over in school in preparation for Halloween Party and will be Busy™ until Halloween itself.

 

He has time.

 

* * *

 

 

 

He most definitely does _not_ have time.

 

The moment he steps through the gates he’s bodily dragged somewhere by a frantic Mitsuru, his eyes teary and his sentences fragmented and broken and all Nazuna catches is that _Tomoya and Hajime had a fight, they’re_ fighting _Nii-chan but aren’t they the bestest friends in the world? They started shouting and I got really scared and thank god you’re here please please talk to them-_ and when he gets there the both of them are heaving and crying, it’s a whole mess and any thoughts of things unrelated to his dear unit and their well being flies out the window.

 

Before he knows it, he’s caught in a whirlwind of trying to nudge the both of them towards making up, and trying to keep their practices going as smoothly as possible even with two of his three kids adamantly refusing to communicate properly. He wants to intervene more, he really does, but this is uncharted territory; they’ve never fought before and so he’s at a loss, it’s not something he has experience handling, like with Mitsuru and his occasional fits. Even when he has spare time, it’s eaten up by helping Anzu, feeding the bunnies, or just managing the general barely-contained mayhem of three different units (60% of which are first years, young and lively) collaborating for one large-scale event.

 

Two weeks pass, just like that. October 29th rolls around. Nazuna still has nothing for Itsuki. His time limit is down to a single day.

 

But the roaring winds have died down, the preparations are largely complete, his kids have made up and all that’s really left for them to do is fine tune their synchronization and they’ll be set for the actual day.

 

So it’s here, on the benches by the rabbit huts, that he sits with his sewing kit and properly gets to work. The moon hangs big and bright in the star-studded sky, illuminating the surrounding garden, giving it an almost ethereal glow. A cool breeze blows through that’s gentle and soft as a tinkling bell. His phone is propped up against his water bottle, a photo of the reference sketch he’d made a while ago displayed at the lowest brightness level it can go so he doesn’t disturb the sleeping bunnies.

 

A few of them, still awake, munch on the pellets in their food bowls. The rhythmic crunches are the only sounds that accompany him, aside from his own occasional muffled curses as he pricks his fingers on the needle.

 

Somehow, somehow, even though it’s virtually silent, he misses the sound of footsteps approaching- slow, curious, cautious, familiar. He doesn’t hear them, too focused on _not_ making an absolute mess.

 

“Nito?”

 

Nazuna jumps out of his skin, pricking his finger (again) and startling a poor bunny awake when he bites back a curse.

 

He hears a gasp. Rapid footsteps approach, and suddenly Itsuki’s right in his face, grabbing his hands and pressing a handkerchief to the wound. Nazuna, in a state of minor shock, lets Itsuki pull and push him as he pleases. To Itsuki’s credit, he remains silent as he pulls out a plaster, tenderly wrapping it around Nazuna’s fingertip.

 

When he’s done, he relaxes slightly, Nazuna’s hands clasped in his own-- before he gives a little jolt, like he’d just realized what he’d done, what year it is, what’s somehow not appropriate for ex-unit members. He makes to let go, but Nazuna doesn’t want that; doesn’t want to lose this little bit of contact, not when the last time they’d touched was over a year ago.

 

He never realized how much he’s _missed_ this; this simple closeness, only the two of them in their own little world. Nobody else can come close. Nobody else matters. It’s just them, together, here and now.

 

As Itsuki’s hands move to drop his, Nazuna jerks, a breathless _Itsuki, wait, please_ on his lips. Fingers sliding together, he intertwines them, and holds their joined hands close to his chest. Palm to palm, clasped tight, Nazuna doesn’t let go, but doesn’t say a word. His heart is doing somersaults in his chest that he’s _sure_ Itsuki can feel. Itsuki, who’s gaping at him with the same awe and wonder and adoration as he did in first year after leaping out the window. Itsuki, who is, without hyperbole, the single most breathtaking being Nazuna’s ever encountered and the fact that he _knows_ Itsuki thinks of him the same way sends tingles rushing up his spine. Itsuki, whom he misses with every fiber in his body. Itsuki, who he wants to keep close for eternity, Itsuki, Itsuki, Itsuki, _Shu-_

 

Nazuna turns his face away, in case he bursts into tears like a fool. He ends up looking at his little gift straight on, and from the way Sh- Itsuki’s hands tighten slightly he knows he’s seen it too.

 

Well. He’s almost done anyway. No time like the present.

 

Slowly, reluctantly, he releases their hands to pick up the cloth, nudging away a baby bunny that’s trying to nibble on it. He bites the thread and quickly ties it, neatly folding it and taking note of the clock on the far wall. 12.45 am. October 30th.

 

Itsuki Shu’s birthday.

 

He holds out the handkerchief and gives his best, most blinding grin.

 

“Happy birthday, Oshi-san.”

 

Itsuki- starstruck, perfect Itsuki- accepts the gift with trembling fingers. He smooths out the cloth, fingertips tracing over the yellow and pink rabbits embroidered into the corners, the camellias, roses, daffodils and candies sewn lovingly into the maroon-colored fabric.

 

It’s not perfect. From his angle, Nazuna can spot the wonky stitching, the stray threads threatening to come loose, how the eye of one unlucky yellow rabbit isn’t exactly in line with the other.

 

“Sorry it’s not that great of a gift,” he says, scratching his cheek, eyes still on the mistakes, “but I really wanted to make you something handmade. I’m not, um, too good at it apparently, but-”

 

He’s cut off by long, long arms encircling his small frame, and his words die on his tongue. Faintly, reverently, he hears a whispered _thank you, I love it_.

 

Warm, he feels so warm. He lifts his arms, and returns the hug. Itsuki pulls him in closer, and he basks in the affections of someone who’s only ever wanted to do right by him. He buries his face in Itsuki’s shoulder, and breathes in. It’s still the same, nostalgic scent; his Halloween Party practice jersey smells like cinnamon and laundry detergent, same as always.

 

And yet, how drastically things can change after a year. Later today, they’ll be performing on separate stages. Valkyrie and Ra*bits, with their own respective partner units. He knows Itsuki will make time to watch their performances. He knows this, because he’s planning to do the same for Valkyrie.

 

They’ve both changed, evolved into people independent of each other; for the better, Nazuna understands that now. But right now, in his Oshi-san’s embrace, he’s hit with the clarity that their relationship, as rocky and unstable as it is, can be mended. It can be fixed, it’s not a lost cause. They just have to put in the work necessary.

 

It’s a very comforting thought.

 

Nazuna grins, and angles his head so he can press a soft kiss beneath Itsuki’s ear. He giggles, breathy and high, at the shiver he feels and the swift reddening of said ear in response. Itsuki pulls away, but only far enough to level a glare at Nazuna. It’s somewhat offset by how pink his cheeks are. They almost match his hair, and Nazuna thinks it’s very cute. He opens his mouth, likely to berate Nazuna for teasing him.

 

Not a word comes out though, because Nazuna leans in and delicately places a kiss on his petal-soft lips.

 

When they part, Itsuki’s frozen like a statue, with the exception of his mouth that falls open and gapes like a fish. Nazuna gets to witness, to his delight, the way Itsuki’s face flushes even deeper as his brain reboots. Itsuki Shu, at a loss for words for once in his life.

 

Very nice, he could get used to this. He misses his Oshi-san of the past, dearly, but…

 

Change happens. He can’t stop it, or change it, so the only thing to do is accept it and adapt. And, well.

 

Change isn’t always so bad.

 

**Author's Note:**

> 3 things:
> 
> 1\. i can and Will be late for everything. saying "im gonna write somethgin for shnz week" does not, in fact, help u write anything, so heres a (late) 3 in 1 fic- days 1&2, and shu's birthday. if i dont make it in time to write something for shu's birthday on october im pointing everyone in this direction
> 
> 2\. if u think shu's a little too quiet here its bc idk how tf to write him. croissant man why r u like this 
> 
> 3\. ive typed itsuki sm its lost all meaning it doesnt even look right here lmfao but. yes. follow me on twit @candysweetnazu and ill love u forever


End file.
